Our Moment to Moment Choices Matter BIG TIME!
We are all faced with a continual stream of choices to make every waking moment of our lives.
According to multiple sources, the average adult makes approximately 35,000 choices per day.
Whether a choice is small and seemingly insignificant or massive and life-changing, all decisions have consequences, and these consequences shape our lives.
As the author and speaker, John C. Maxwell famously explained, "Life is a matter of choices, and every choice you make makes you."
While each person's daily choices are unique to their life circumstances, there are three critical ones that we all have in common.
These three choices significantly shape our mental and emotional states as well as lay the foundation for other decisions and thus our daily life patterns.
Things Often Do Not Go As Planned!
You are making the first of these three choices right now as you read this article. This choice is the MOST critical one you make each day as it is the springboard for everything else in your life.
This choice is: Where will I place my focus?
Keep in mind; energy flows in the direction of our focus. What we choose to focus on directly shapes how we feel, how we think, how we behave, and how we experience the world.
Life can be hard, no doubt! Things often don't go as we plan.
For instance, people get sick; people die too young, marriages end, people get fired, businesses fail, etc. No matter what, we all have our crosses to carry.
While we most often don't have control over the events that happen in our lives, we always have control over how we choose to respond. And, our responses determine the outcomes we experience.
If we focus on our pain and failures, we will lower our vibration and get more of them. The opposite also holds. If we focus on our successes (no matter how small), we will raise our vibration and get more of it.
The moment you choose to focus on something, your brain makes the next critical decision in a millisecond.
Upwards of 95% of the time, this process happens subconsciously and is driven by our underlying core beliefs and habitual patterns.
Approximately 5-10% of the time, if we practice mindfulness and gain control of our mind before it controls us, we grant ourselves agency over the second choice.
Thoughts Are Not Truth!
The second choice is, "What am I making it mean?" When an event happens, the thoughts that come up around it that we choose to engage with and accept as the truth, determine our emotional response.
In other words, whatever meaning we assign to an event in our life, instantly shapes how we feel and determines the next choice in this process.
For instance, if I don't get a good reader response to this article, I have a multitude of choices for what I make it mean.
I can make it mean that I have no value to provide to others, and thus, I should just quit writing blogs.
I can choose to tell myself that I am a crappy writer.
I can make it mean that I did not target the right audience.
I can choose to embrace the thought that my message benefited people beyond my awareness, and with consistent effort, I will attract those that value and appreciate my work.
Which of these choices would likely spiral me into a negative emotional state? Which one would raise my vibration and help me move forward to grow my following and my business in a constructive, healthy way?
Thoughts Trigger Emotions, Emotions Trigger Action!
The final of the three critical daily choices we all make is, "What action am I choosing to take (or not take)?"
The actions we decide to take or not take shape our habits. Our habits shape our lives!
What are the key takeaways here?
What we focus on grows bigger!
Thoughts fuel emotional responses!
Emotional responses drive our action or inaction!
Our action or inaction creates our experiences!
Rinse and repeat!
But What’s Behind The Curtain Of These 3 Choices?
There is more to understand about this process! You see, how we respond to these the three critical daily questions outlined above, is heavily influenced by three driving forces. These forces are:
#1: Physiological Patterns. Ask yourself the following:
How do I breathe most often?
Do I breathe shallowly from my mouth into my chest or deeply through my nose into my belly?
What about my posture?
Do I stand upright, with my shoulders back, and emanate confidence, or are am I slumped over exuding a vibration of defeat and self-doubt?
How about my eyes?
Do I make regular eye contact with people when I speak with them, or do I look away?
#2: Language Patterns. Ask yourself the following:
What questions do I ask myself when I come up against adversity?
Do I ask, "What can I learn from this experience? How can I use what I learned to move forward constructively?" or is it more along the lines of, "What did I do to deserve this? Why does everything always go wrong in my life?"
What is my self-dialogue when things don't go as planned?
Do I berate myself? Am I my own worst critic?
Do I engage in inner dialogue such as I am not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, fortunate enough, etc., or do I embrace the notion that I am a human that makes mistakes and I need to extend myself compassion?
#3: Belief Patterns. Ask yourself the following:
Do I have underlying beliefs that may not be serving me so well that I need to explore?
What do I need to believe consistently to feel the way I want and create the experiences I desire?
I have used and continue to use this exact framework to get unstuck in all areas of my life.
By making a conscious choice to explore and shift aspects of these three patterns that are no longer serving you, you will position yourself to respond to the original three critical questions in much more mindful and constructive ways and thus empower yourself to shift your life and wellbeing in magical ways! :)